THERE ARE NO "WINNERS" OR "LOSERS" - WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER.
There are no winners or losers in recovery; just individuals doing their best to overcome their addiction.
Most of us are here to get better.
Unfortunately, not everyone is.
One of the BIGGEST issues in "12 step" groups is the heavy presence of people who were sent there by the court system for things unrelated to drugs or alcohol - such as violent and/or sexual crimes.
People get taken advantage of , financially and sexually -- or even raped and murdered --
at AA and NA because they are naively assuming that everyone in the
room is "sober" or "working steps" or working towards that.
The 13th Step
is a documentary by Monica Richardson that explores the dark side of
some 12-step programs and how certain members can take advantage of
vulnerable newcomers. It highlights the lack of regulation and
accountability in these programs and raises questions about their
effectiveness.
Gossip and talk of winners and losers can be incredibly damaging because they create a sense of competition and judgment within the recovery community. Instead of lifting each other up and supporting one another, this type of talk can lead to feelings of inadequacy, shame, and isolation.
Furthermore, gossip and rumors spread quickly in tight-knit communities like recovery groups. This can create a toxic environment where members feel like they can't trust one another or be vulnerable with their struggles. This is particularly harmful in recovery, where honesty and open communication are key components of the healing process.
If you find yourself tempted to engage in gossip or talk of winners and losers in recovery, it's important to take a step back and question why you feel the need to do so. Are you struggling with your own feelings of inadequacy and trying to make yourself feel better by bringing others down? Or are you simply looking for a sense of control in a situation that feels uncertain?
Whatever the reason, it's important to recognize that this type of behavior is not helpful or supportive to your fellow recovery community members. Instead, focus on being a positive and supportive presence in the recovery community. Celebrate others' victories and offer a listening ear when they're struggling. By doing so, you'll be creating a safe and supportive environment that allows everyone to thrive and make progress in their recovery journey.
In the context of recovery from drugs and alcohol, feelings of inadequacy and superiority can both be equally unhelpful. The reason for this is that both of these mindsets can hinder progress towards sobriety and overall well-being.
Feelings of inadequacy can lead to low self-esteem, which can cause individuals to feel hopeless and unmotivated. These feelings can arise from comparing oneself to others or feeling like they are not making progress fast enough. In a recovery space, this mindset can discourage individuals from seeking help or trying new methods to aid in their recovery. It can also lead to feelings of isolation and shame, which can be difficult to overcome without support.
On the other end of the spectrum, feelings of superiority can lead to overconfidence and a lack of accountability. This mindset can arise from comparing oneself to others and feeling like they are doing better or are more successful in their recovery journey. In a recovery space, this can create an intimidating environment where individuals may feel pressure to always appear strong and confident.
This can lead to a lack of vulnerability and honesty, which are essential in recovery. Both of these mindsets can lead individuals to overlook areas in which they need growth and improvement. Instead, it is imperative to adopt a growth mindset and focus on progress rather than perfection. Embracing imperfection and acknowledging the need for continuous growth is essential in the recovery journey. By avoiding feelings of inadequacy or superiority, individuals can cultivate a more supportive and encouraging environment, where everyone is focused on progress and personal growth.
Many of us have been guilty of making assumptions about other people based solely on their appearance, possessions or social status. It's easy to look at someone who seems successful or happy and assume that they have everything figured out or that they must be living a perfect life. However, comparing ourselves to others in this way can be detrimental to our confidence and self-worth.
The truth is, everyone has their own struggles and challenges, regardless of how good they may look on the outside. You never know what someone else is going through just by looking at them. They may be dealing with their own insecurities, fears, or personal battles that they choose not to share with others.
It's important to acknowledge that experiencing prejudice, gossip, sabotage or shunning during the recovery process can be incredibly discouraging and painful. You might feel isolated, unsupported and even question whether or not recovery is worth it. However, it is important to understand that these behaviors are a reflection of the other person's issues and insecurities, and not a reflection of your worth as a person.
It's important not to internalize their negativity and instead focus on surrounding yourself with positive people who support your recovery journey. Take action by seeking out supportive groups, such as therapy or support groups, turning to trusted friends and family, or creating new relationships with individuals who are positive influences in your life.
Confront the issue head-on by respectfully communicating your experience and your needs with the individual or individuals involved. Remember that you are not alone, and continue to prioritize your own well-being and recovery.