Survivors of 12-Step Groups

This is a chatroom for people who have given up on "12-step" groups such as AA and Narcotics Anonymous, but who have NOT given up on recovery. You're welcome to chat here if you need to vent and be heard or you're just trying to get through your day without getting loaded. For the safety of our group a verified email is required to create a profile and use private messaging features. You may *still* log in anonymously to chat in the public room.

Formerly known as the "NA Chatroom."

The new room, "Recovering from Recovery" is a welcoming space for the recovery community at large to process and heal from abusive , unsafe or *totally* unhelpful face to face recovery groups , sober living and rehab scams . Others have encountered confrontational "recovery" chats who ask too many questions or been banned from them for absolutely no damn reason at all.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is this website?
We aren't formally a "dual diagnosis" group but we recognize there is an 80% prevalence of dual diagnosis in addiction and recovery and that it's part of everyone's struggle. Healing from ptsd, poor impulse control, depression, and "unmanageability" doesn't miraculously happen overnight. Please be patient, don't give up.

We're not here to take people away from AA or NA. We're not here to steal the 5% or so of its members who claim it "works" for them. We're here to help the 95% it doesn't do a DAMN thing for!
Is this a recovery program? Does it have meetings?
Nope. We're happy to encourage your progress if you attend one of them. You are responsible for your own recovery and recovery goals. You are welcome to chat here if you're isolated or if it helps you get through your day without getting high or drunk. If you're looking for treatment, look for one with an ACTUAL CURRICULUM that isn't "TSF" (12-step based) where they just charge you a ton of money to make you attend AA inside of rehab or read their literature as "group therapy" as if you haven't already done that twenty times, yawn.
Can I find a sponsor here?
"Sponsors" are handlers for 12-step groups. They're gatekeepers who can whisper that "you'll never get it" or to "stay away from you." Accessibility of a sponsor is a barrier to success in those programs but a gossip or a saboteur or a sponsor who tries to fuck you is even worse than no sponsor. Make sober friends. Call them. Ask them how their day is. Tell them about yours! They don't have to be a "special person" just someone who you care about and want to support. Listening to newcomers here gets me out of my sorry self! NEVER let anyone tell you that staying sober today wasn't "good enough" if that took *everything* in your power.
A warning about "step four" for those who have survived unmentionable traumas.
It is often expected "in the rooms" that trauma victims and others who have survived unspeakable horrors "get to work right away" and rip all the bandages off of their deepest wounds immediately. Let me ask you- when you're watching a movie and there's a part you don't like... do you rewind it and watch it over and over again? No! Who the hell does that? I mean, BESIDES US!!!

If you'd rather relapse or die or never return to a meeting again than EVER watch some parts of your "movie" again , you may need outside help from a practitioner who advertises expertise with trauma survivors. If alcoholism is a "disease" then your sponsor is practicing medicine without a license!
What are the ground rules?
Be friendly with your new friends. We do not tolerate antisocial (bullying, threatening, trolling) or predatory (seeking money or sex etc) behavior. You may curse and swear and be politically incorrect. You may NOT "cuss someone out" or intimidate and abuse them. We are NOT a dating site. Rehab romances between newcomers often end with one or both of you getting high (and many marriages broken) when the focus wasn't on "how can I stay sober and help others today" anymore.

We recommend keeping your last name, email, telephone number, employer (etc) to yourself and not sharing your social media publicly in chat. "Stranger Danger" *definitely* applies in "recovery"
Why can't I private message someone?
You need to send them a "friend request" first and the other person needs to accept it. Meaning you both need to create an account with a verified email to use that feature.

Some people do not want to receive private messages at all, from anyone, for any reason and its none of our business why. YOU set your own bottom line behaviors around private messaging if it's triggering or if it fucks with your serenity. Just edit your profile: "Disable Private Messaging - Enabled"
Do you sign court cards? Do the police ever subpoena you or ask you for information about visitors? Do you keep chat logs? (etc).
We are operated from and hosted in Mexico. We do not respond to American probation departments, supverisory programs, treatment centers, halfway houses / sober living etc. That paradigm is a FRAUD. We erase our chatroom regularly unless someone files a "complaint" - a chat log is only saved long enough to review whether a complaint is TRUE.

We MUST uphold , respect, and honor Mexican law. They don't give a DAMN about your chat. AA and NA operate openly and are NOT persecuted here. This society is happy you seek freedom from the scourge of addiction. Selling DRUGS on our site is international trafficking! We will NOT PROTECT YOU.
Do I have to be sober to chat here Today?
No, provided that you are reasonably civil and not totally disrupting the room, ie "not making sense at all," punning, etc. 80% of us are dually diagnosed and some "handle our shit" better than others.

Our old site allowed people to chair meetings with little to no clean time. We continue to believe that newcomers with the LEAST time can connect and identify with and help each other the MOST. If it's a problem , we will GENTLY let you know and ask you to either participate by listening for today or to "come back tomorrow."
"I don't like this new format!"
For as much as everyone complained or engaged in denial of service attacks against the place day after day, year after year - apparently , you didn't like the old format either.

You have 1000 "online recovery meetings" now. You didn't have any of those options when we opened our doors in 2006. We were among the first and only at that time.

I'm not getting into the trap of who had more time (or ANY time) but our site was created to welcome and encourage newcomers. Instead; we battled endlessly with unremovable *dipshits* who were drunker and higher than our newcomers and trying to steal or copy our website to beg for "donations."
Who or what owns / funds this site?
When this site was known as, it operated at an annual loss as the "Never Alone Alano Club Corporation," which was legallly dissolved on January 5, 2023. The site is privately owned by someone who was a stepper for 15 years, was once a true nut job believerwho had "worked the steps and sponsored others" volunteered for nachatroom since 2010, totally failed/dropped out of CADC classes and now has a clean date of 9-11-2021. A small annuity has been purchased that pays the websites bills now. We don't need "help" if "help" means "you want to be in charge" and we DON'T need money. We just need you to help us welcome and encourage people.